This week Adrian reflects on a bad day.
Today is one of those days, they pop along ever so often to remind me that my mind is still whirring around.
It’s like treacle, in a bowl tipped over my head, it’s trickled down the front of my face and is causing me quite an issue.
Only took a word, but that word has opened up a kaleidoscope of bitter thought.
You know the score, stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop beating yourself up, man up for goodness sake!
I have shed a tear or two, not exactly the pre programmed way your supposed to be hey!
The treacle is now over my chin, I’m putting my clown face on, thoughts suppressed for months are flooding back, I eagerly scan the faces passing by, looking for the fix of a smile, it doesn’t come.
A hug a hug my kingdom for a hug, that’s not forthcoming, I shrug my shoulders, toughen my stance, I know the treacle will pass, I would just rather it wasn’t there, but it is, I don’t want pity, I just want to be wanted.
They say not all disabilities are visible, and for once I wished the treacle was real, but it isn’t, it’s just my depression, and as invisible as the sugary syrup I move on to the next obstacle, that of clearing the fuzzy sticky gloop.
For me today is one of them days.